just another story about white supremacist patriarchy

TW: Suicidal ideation. In mid-January, my mental health took a nose dive, and I wrote about it. I had no energy to do things, and I really wanted to die, but I really didn’t want to hurt my loved ones by dying. Every night was a non-stop inner monologue about how I could make my […]

Bodyodyodyodyodyodyody

There’s something about bleeding out of your butthole that really makes you question your life choices. Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. We need to get to the bottom of this and work our way up. (Fair warning, I go absolutely HAM on the poop jokes in this post) Around this time two years ago, […]

Did You Miss Me? I Sure Did.

My last post on HFOW was a year and a half ago. I don’t know about you, but I feel like some big shit went down between December of 2019 and July of 2021? Like maybe something fundamentally shifted worldwide for a whole year? I just can’t quite put my finger on it… If you […]

Phase One: Complete. Enter Phase Two

The first two weeks of this transition from Zoloft to Paxil were wild. The first day I took Paxil I was exhausted. But every day after that? I guess I can finally understand what mania looks like. My only emotion for the first two weeks was anxiety. I couldn’t empathize. I couldn’t feel happiness or sadness […]

Head On Over to Entropy

Happy Publication Day! Please make your way over to Entropy to read my essay, “The Last Family Vacation.” Let me know what you think!

Functionally, Consistently Depressed

I used to be super sensitive to medication. When I was on Effexor, I was on the lowest recommended dose, and even then I developed a severe allergy to the drug that almost made me hospitalize myself. Since then, I’ve been on Zoloft. It’s been about ten years now, and I can happily say it […]

And I Was Doing So Well

Do you think Seasonal Affective Disorder can work in reverse? Because I’m starting to think that maybe it can. Case in points: 1. The days are getting longer, which means there’s more time for me to examine all my decisions by the light of day and worry myself into a tizzy or a panic attack. […]

And how does that make you feel, Whitney?

My therapist asks me this a lot. Not because she’s a stereotype (she isn’t) or because she likes to ask things ironically (she doesn’t), but because we are both learning that I don’t really let myself feel anything. I’m really great at taking care of other people and looking after their emotional needs, and I’m pretty […]

Little Heartbreak

It’s been two months since the Big Breakup Heartbreak and less than twenty-four hours since the Little Heartbreak. This isn’t some sort of “my one true love has been stolen from me forever” heartbreak, because I think you have several true loves in your lifetime: people who teach you things like how to steal diamonds, […]

Happy Monthaversary to Me!

I have officially been single for one month. Though I don’t know what “officially” means, since the relationship never was confirmed on Facebook, so I couldn’t make it officially “over” via Facebook either. . . If a relationship status is never updated, does that mean the relationship wasn’t real? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Kind of. […]