My neuroses were showing today, and not in a oh-look-how-cute-and-eccentric-this-girl-is kind of way, but in a holy-fuck-put-her-in-a-padded-room sort of way. And you know why? Because all of the shrimp are out to get me. I just KNOW it. For lunch today, I had some leftover pasta that had shrimp in it. I know, I know. […]Read More Daily Conversations with Anxiety: Fucking Shrimp, Man.
The later I stay up, the more time my mind has to be an asshole. Hey, Whitney. You aren’t going to finish your thesis. You won’t have a place to live when you move back. You suck at yoga. Your face is breaking out. You don’t have a job anymore. How does it feel to […]Read More Conversations With Anxiety: Fucking Go to Sleep Already, Whitney
Are there sharks on land? Because I swear to God, the Jaws theme-song has been pounding in my ears for weeks now. Or maybe that’s just my heartbeat. Duh-nuh. Duh-nuh duh-nuh. Duh-nuh duh-nuh duh-nuh duh-nuh DUHNUHNUH. My anxiety level has held steady lately at Code Horror Movie, and my inner voice that says all sorts of […]Read More Daily Conversations With Anxiety: It’s FAAAAAALLLLLLLL
The other night I made chili. Delicious decision, you say, with a bubble pipe hanging out of the corner of your mouth. And indeed it was. The recipe called for roasted peppers, and I roasted those suckers over the open flame of my gas stove like I was born to do it; and maybe I […]Read More Hot Tamales
The anxiety voice in my head wins. You know, that dick voice that tells me I have knee herpes? I start to believe it (not about knee herpes, though. Those have cleared up.) The first thing I do is start to hyperventilate. Then I try breathing exercises to calm myself down, and picture myself lounging […]Read More When I have a Panic Attack