Daily Conversations with Anxiety: Fucking Shrimp, Man.

My neuroses were showing today, and not in a oh-look-how-cute-and-eccentric-this-girl-is kind of way, but in a holy-fuck-put-her-in-a-padded-room sort of way. And you know why? Because all of the shrimp are out to get me. I just KNOW it. For lunch today, I had some leftover pasta that had shrimp in it. I know, I know. […]

If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Van Gogh and Gauguin

Van Gogh appears painting furiously as usual. Enter Gauguin. Gauguin: Vincent. Van Gogh ignores him. Gauguin: Vincent! Van Gogh continues, gliding his fingers on the surface of something, even more furiously. Gauguin: VINCENT, DAMNIT LISTEN TO ME! Van Gogh stops. He turns. Van Gogh: What, is that supposed to be funny? Gauguin: No, no–wait, I […]