The Downward Spiral

It began, as it always does, with Florida–the nation’s phallus. Around 7:30PM on November 8th, I paced around my mom’s kitchen eating ice cream and praying to whichever God likes girls who stress-eat ice cream while pacing around their mother’s kitchens. When Florida went for Trump, I started sobbing. I know that I tend to […]

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Our Voices Matter

I stopped writing after the election. I didn’t write my morning pages. I only wrote poetry when I had to, which was once every other Friday for work. I didn’t touch my book.  I couldn’t even look at my blog. I mean, no one else was looking at my blog, either, so I didn’t feel […]

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When I have a Panic Attack

The anxiety voice in my head wins. You know, that dick voice that tells me I have knee herpes? I start to believe it (not about knee herpes, though. Those have cleared up.) The first thing I do is start to hyperventilate. Then I try breathing exercises to calm myself down, and picture myself lounging […]

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Two-Year Clottiversary

A lot of my anxiety as a child resulted in me believing I would die in horribly tragic ways. For instance, I was terrified of sleeping under my ceiling fan because I believed that it would crash through my bed, chop me into little pieces, and send my remains and my bed through the floor […]

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Depression

I’m not going to offer an explanation as to why I haven’t written anything in a month; no, I’m going to tell you a story. My depression starts at the back of my esophagus. It begins as a small hole, only noticeable at three in the morning when I trace shapes  with my eyes on […]

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