You’re A Writer, Aren’t You?

I have tried to sit down to write this post like a zillion times and then my Anxiety Voice kicks in and gives me the sweats. Like this: Hey, Whitney. No one reads your blog anymore. Literally, no one. You’ve fallen from your position as a recommended humor writer and everyone thinks you suck because […]

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My Fitness Tracker is The Devil

Hey, you guys! Quick confession: I’m one of those people who used to have/still struggles with/occasionally kicks the ass of an eating disorder. I used to compulsively weigh myself and take my measurements several times daily. It was like I was looking for proof that the Chipotle burrito I’d annihilated was taking root in my […]

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An Open Letter to US Airways

Dear Flight Attendant on flight 2026 from Phoenix to Philadelphia last Friday, February 27th, at 11:50 PM: If you have to open a sentence with, “I’m not a bitch, but…” guess what? You’re a bitch. Also, you’re a flight attendant and you’re working and you probably shouldn’t be using that kind of language. This isn’t […]

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This Is My Brain on Sleep

I don’t do drugs because I’m terrified of the things my brain may come up with under the influence of anything. If I can be afraid of ghost sharks or blueberries without a hint of psychedelics or whatevers, then my brain on acid or ecstasy or hell, marijuana may create some seriously fucked up shit for […]

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