Arithmophobia: Haikus

Denzel Washington would be proud of my math grades Algebra is hard Exorcising a math demon is much, much harder than it seems AP Calculus makes Training Day look like a tasty piece of cake

Arithmophobia, or, Why Math Sucks (And is Also Awesome)

Math is my nemesis. It is the Luther to my Superman, the Decipticon to my Bumblebee, the Mojo Jojo to my Buttercup. I feel like most writers can empathize with the struggle to control numbers, as we use the right side of our brain to do really complex things like write beautiful sentences, paint-by-numbers, and […]

Grace: Poetry Project Saturday

Sara’s (NoH) poem. Her word was “grace”. This is a very rough draft and I’m not sure how I feel about any of it except I really love the last line. I will probably include another Grace poem soon. Grace: The Host Your features poses pleasantly for calling company why, hello–and curtsey–and thank you–and twirl […]

Pet Peeve Wednesday: Hyphenated-Americans

My father is half black and half Irish. My mom is pretty much 100% English. That makes me half black Irish and half English. But my dad grew up in Cleveland, and my mom grew up in the boondocks of New York on a dairy farm. So, basically, I’m 100% American, but half rural and […]

Pediophobia: Haikus

Glassy-eyed demons wait for the children to sleep to launch their attack Josefina took poorly my comparison to that Samara Nip the Cat did not take to the cause well he’s in Fido’s mouth

Pediophobia: Fear of Dolls

Dolls are terrifying. We’ve already covered how I was scared of my American Girl Josefina doll here, but that was the tip of the iceberg… Metaphorically speaking. I had Samantha, Kit, and one unnamed American Girl doll. Sure, while they were fun to play with, they were also planning to mutiny. It wasn’t that […]

Raylene: Equate (Poetry Project, Week 7)

It’s Poetry Project Saturday! Here is Coloradoan Raylene P.’s poem for her word “equate.” I.. somehow made this poem kind of sexy, and I don’t know how that happened. Equate First, outside, inside, last- our breathing ragged, the subtraction complete. The signs are all there: we are divided, but nonplussed by the solution. We were […]

If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Week 5

Marie Antoinette: Wow, the 99% sure have gotten a lot less feisty. Someone let them eat cake, didn’t they? Smart move, politicians, smart move. Note: According to wikipedia (which, let’s be honest, isn’t the most reliable of sources), Marie Antoinette was actually very charitable and never used the phrase “let them eat cake.” But for […]

Pet Peeve: Double Negatives

I am quite a fan of language. I think that’s basically the number one requirement for being a writer. I’d also like to think that I’m a good fan, and not one of those ones that requires a restraining order. Maybe not the number one fan (I don’t always know where to put a comma), […]

Wednesday Special: Horror Satire Done Right

I love horror movies. I love the great ones and I love the terrible ones. I’m pretty sure we’ve established that. I also love horror movie satires, parodies, and spoofs. But I have very high standards for my satire. Why? Because satire is probably one of the smartest forms of comedy out there. It is […]