just another story about white supremacist patriarchy

TW: Suicidal ideation. In mid-January, my mental health took a nose dive, and I wrote about it. I had no energy to do things, and I really wanted to die, but I really didn’t want to hurt my loved ones by dying. Every night was a non-stop inner monologue about how I could make my […]

This is fine.

Cool! Cool cool cool cool cool.

Bodyodyodyodyodyodyody

There’s something about bleeding out of your butthole that really makes you question your life choices. Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. We need to get to the bottom of this and work our way up. (Fair warning, I go absolutely HAM on the poop jokes in this post) Around this time two years ago, […]

This is awkward

Well, well, well. What do we have here? A blog that I started eleven years ago, but couldn’t maintain because of my teaching career and all the trauma I was going through that I just shoved down into a small little box in my brain? You’re looking good for having been neglected at best and […]

Happy Birthday to Me

I turned 31 yesterday, which would absolutely be unremarkable except for the fact that Justin, my big brother, died when he was 31. That’s a friendly way of putting it, though. Justin took his own life at 31. There, that’s more realistic. I’ve been dreading my birthday for almost the whole year. I was super […]

Did You Miss Me? I Sure Did.

My last post on HFOW was a year and a half ago. I don’t know about you, but I feel like some big shit went down between December of 2019 and July of 2021? Like maybe something fundamentally shifted worldwide for a whole year? I just can’t quite put my finger on it… If you […]

Head On Over to Entropy

Happy Publication Day! Please make your way over to Entropy to read my essay, “The Last Family Vacation.” Let me know what you think!

Functionally, Consistently Depressed

I used to be super sensitive to medication. When I was on Effexor, I was on the lowest recommended dose, and even then I developed a severe allergy to the drug that almost made me hospitalize myself. Since then, I’ve been on Zoloft. It’s been about ten years now, and I can happily say it […]

And I Was Doing So Well

Do you think Seasonal Affective Disorder can work in reverse? Because I’m starting to think that maybe it can. Case in points: 1. The days are getting longer, which means there’s more time for me to examine all my decisions by the light of day and worry myself into a tizzy or a panic attack. […]

Perspective

Missing out on the job I’ve wanted for five years knocked the air out of my lungs. The Big Breakup Heartbreak pushed me to the ground and rubbed my face in the dirt. It left me feeling disoriented and unsure of myself. The Little Breakup Heartbreak gouged open old wounds and left me scared of […]