You’re A Writer, Aren’t You?

I have tried to sit down to write this post like a zillion times and then my Anxiety Voice kicks in and gives me the sweats. Like this: Hey, Whitney. No one reads your blog anymore. Literally, no one. You’ve fallen from your position as a recommended humor writer and everyone thinks you suck because […]

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Dear Santa

Here is my Christmas list for the year. I know, I know. It’s very late. But you see, the magic of Christmas is that you don’t actually give a fuck what I write, but I can write it anyway and send it out into “the universe” and hopefully “the universe” will be like, “oh-hay, here’s […]

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On the Couch: A Reader’s Series

I’ve decided I need to start sharing with you guys the wonderful things I’m reading. Or the terrible things I’m reading. Thankfully, I haven’t picked up a Anita Blake, Vampire Series book since I was like 15, so hopefully there won’t be many reviews of terrible books. This week’s book,┬áDear Mister Essay Writer Guy, I […]

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We Need to Talk About Bowling

This is less a story about bowling and more of a story about failure. The kind of failure that happens even when there are a zillion safeguards in place to make sure you can’t fail. When you fail when literally everything is built to make you succeed. It’s these kind of stories that turn boys […]

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My Fitness Tracker is The Devil

Hey, you guys! Quick confession: I’m one of those people who used to have/still struggles with/occasionally kicks the ass of an eating disorder. I used to compulsively weigh myself and take my measurements several times daily. It was like I was looking for proof that the Chipotle burrito I’d annihilated was taking root in my […]

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I need to be fully employed

Please, please hire me. My crazy is getting worse. You know it’s bad when you can recognize that your crazy has reached a new level. I’ve gone from “charmingly quirky” to “super duper neurotic” over the past five months. Know how I know? Today Atreyu and I had a discussion about my new pair of […]

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A Profound, Terrible Thought

I was eating dinner last night, much like I do every night. It was especially delicious, and I was very proud of myself and savoured each bite. Then I looked at the last bite of my meal, and I thought, Well, I’ll be damned if I don’t make the best damn sandwich ever. And then […]

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25: A Quarter Century In Review

I’ve been 25 for four whole weeks now, without once shaving off all my hair (just the half that’s already shaved, thank you), or buying a sports car, or–more realistically–buying out the local Whole Foods of all the chocolate and chocolate-related foodstuffs and eating them guiltily in a corner while Atreyu looks at me thinking,┬ámaybe […]

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