Pediophobia: Haikus

Glassy-eyed demons wait for the children to sleep to launch their attack Josefina took poorly my comparison to that Samara Nip the Cat did not take to the cause well he’s in Fido’s mouth

Pediophobia: Fear of Dolls

Dolls are terrifying. We’ve already covered how I was scared of my American Girl Josefina doll here, but that was the tip of the iceberg… Metaphorically speaking. I had Samantha, Kit, and one unnamed American Girl doll. Sure, while they were fun to play with, they were also planning to mutiny. It wasn’t that […]

If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Week 5

Marie Antoinette: Wow, the 99% sure have gotten a lot less feisty. Someone let them eat cake, didn’t they? Smart move, politicians, smart move. Note: According to wikipedia (which, let’s be honest, isn’t the most reliable of sources), Marie Antoinette was actually very charitable and never used the phrase “let them eat cake.” But for […]

Pet Peeve: Double Negatives

I am quite a fan of language. I think that’s basically the number one requirement for being a writer. I’d also like to think that I’m a good fan, and not one of those ones that requires a restraining order. Maybe not the number one fan (I don’t always know where to put a comma), […]

Wednesday Special: Horror Satire Done Right

I love horror movies. I love the great ones and I love the terrible ones. I’m pretty sure we’ve established that. I also love horror movie satires, parodies, and spoofs. But I have very high standards for my satire. Why? Because satire is probably one of the smartest forms of comedy out there. It is […]

Aviatophobia: Haikus

Head between your knees “Flight Attendants Prepare For–” landing. You are safe. Aisle seats are best in case of water landing the shark gets you last

Aviatophobia: Fear of Flying

Flying is one of the scariest things ever. You’re sitting in a pretty big metal missile that’s carrying one hundred and fifty complete strangers through the upper atmosphere at crazy speeds. It’s no wonder it’s on my list of phobias, and it’s no wonder it scares so many people. When adults with a fear of […]

Sunday Special, An Oldie But a Goodie: How to (Not) Be a Hipster

Since I was so behind on posts this week (there will be two of each of the ones I missed this coming week. Or at least the normal amount. I don’t want to get ahead of myself), I thought I’d share this. I wrote it two and a half years ago, and with constantly evolving […]

Poetry Project Saturday, Week 6: Poem 2

Logan O., Colorado’s Poem. Word: Awesome (This poem breaks from the usual structure, because the given word makes me so incredibly happy that I had to do something different. I find it… hilarious. I know Logan will appreciate it, too.) Tyrannosaurus Rex himself couldn’t stomp the greatness out of you, The great white shark finds […]

Thanataphobia: Haiku(s)

Ceiling fan switchblade chop-chop-slice-chop-chop-slice-slice decapitated Leaving fingerprints everywhere, I’m surprised that they didn’t kill me Escape courses set I know the heat resistance of our tile flooring