The top 5 things I’ve learned in my 25 years on this planet. Man, that’s a challenge. I hope you guys don’t expect me to be like super duper profound right now because all I can think about is how I need to go grocery shopping since literally the only thing I have left to […]Read More A Quarter Century in Review, Part 2
I’ve been 25 for four whole weeks now, without once shaving off all my hair (just the half that’s already shaved, thank you), or buying a sports car, or–more realistically–buying out the local Whole Foods of all the chocolate and chocolate-related foodstuffs and eating them guiltily in a corner while Atreyu looks at me thinking, maybe […]Read More 25: A Quarter Century In Review
Things No One Tells Anxious People About Owning Their Own Home: Buying the home isn’t the expensive part. I mean, yes, it costs a lot of money and the down payment is scary and the mortgage is this looming paper mache monster (made out of bills, obvi) that looks like the sand dune at the […]Read More The Neverending Panic Attack Story
My neuroses were showing today, and not in a oh-look-how-cute-and-eccentric-this-girl-is kind of way, but in a holy-fuck-put-her-in-a-padded-room sort of way. And you know why? Because all of the shrimp are out to get me. I just KNOW it. For lunch today, I had some leftover pasta that had shrimp in it. I know, I know. […]Read More Daily Conversations with Anxiety: Fucking Shrimp, Man.
You’re all gonna hate me for the pun in the title of this piece, but just deal with it, okay? I got my writing done by the time I said I would. In fact, the reason I haven’t posted part two yet is because I’ve been having SO much fun writing my thesis that by […]Read More The Problem of Urgency: Stories from #AWP15, Deuce
A week ago, I was on a panel at the AWP Conference. That panel was Why Did You Write That? The Problem of Urgency and I honestly think the Universe wanted to give me some good writing material to work with, as my whole goddamned weekend was a problem of urgency. Let’s get the easy stuff […]Read More The Problem of Urgency: Stories from #AWP15, Part One
I have told this story millions of times. I have written in approximately thirty times. I condensed those thirty pages into one piece. And then I edited and revised the shit out of it, because that’s what it takes to be a real writer. (That’s what the professionals tell me, anyway. A lot of the […]Read More Once Upon a Time
Dear Flight Attendant on flight 2026 from Phoenix to Philadelphia last Friday, February 27th, at 11:50 PM: If you have to open a sentence with, “I’m not a bitch, but…” guess what? You’re a bitch. Also, you’re a flight attendant and you’re working and you probably shouldn’t be using that kind of language. This isn’t […]Read More An Open Letter to US Airways
A week ago a STRANGER emailed me. Thankfully that email didn’t contain any puppy gifs or I’d probably be cyberkidnapped. But that stranger wanted to interview me! So, readers, friends, family, mortal enemies… head on over to Brews and Views to learn a little bit more about yours truly. PS–The semester is over and I’m […]Read More Head on Over to Brews and Views
We did it. Rather, you did it. I just occasionally typed some things and made myself giggle and hopefully made you giggle, too. And it worked. Because you know what, we just reached 10,000 followers last week. Let me say that again: TEN-THOUSAND MOTHERFUCKING FOLLOWERS THAT ARE SO MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN I WILL EVER BE. […]Read More I love you guys. No, really.