When I Open My Eyes (Daily Conversations With Anxiety)

The ghost that haunts your house will be standing at the foot of your bed again, watching you sleep. No, she won’t. Also… I’m going to pretend there’s no ghost here, thanks. No, seriously. Open your eyes. She is STARING RIGHT AT YOU. Oh my god, is she licking her lips? Whitney, you’ve got to […]

Daily Conversations with Anxiety: Insecurity

What if he doesn’t like you? Anxiety, he flew 1900 miles to spend the weekend with me. He’s one of my best friends. Yeah, but what if he’s just using you? He’s just using you. You know that, right? Nobody ever really likes you. You are really annoying sometimes, brain. HE FLEW TO SEE ME! […]

Daily Conversations With Anxiety: You’re Grossing Everyone Out

Mhmm, that’s right, uh-huh, oh NO. Fix yourself girl, you’ve got a cameltoe! The lyrics to the song get stuck in my head whenever I’m at the gym. Which is all the time, because, really, why not? I like exercise and it likes me. Except, of course for my clothing. I wear these: And I […]

The Mom and A Whit In Black: Guest Blog

Hey, gang! Make your way over to The Mom In Black for a special guest post on what my children are like! (Newsflash: I don’t have any children. Unless you count all the half-children swimming around in my ovaries, and the other half of those children swimming around in some stranger’s cojones… GROSS. I’m going […]