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Did You Miss Me? I Sure Did.

My last post on HFOW was a year and a half ago. I don’t know about you, but I feel like some big shit went down between December of 2019 and July of 2021? Like maybe something fundamentally shifted worldwide for a whole year? I just can’t quite put my finger on it… If you […]

Depression

I’m not going to offer an explanation as to why I haven’t written anything in a month; no, I’m going to tell you a story. My depression starts at the back of my esophagus. It begins as a small hole, only noticeable at three in the morning when I trace shapes with my eyes on […]

30 Minutes of Madness: Making Dreams Come True

We all have goals and dreams and plans. For instance, twenty years from now I expect to be a best-selling author who has her own colony on the moon as well as a pet Jaguar who speaks English. They may not be lofty goals, but they are all mine. When was the last time you […]

Bromidrosiphobia

The name of this phobia couldn’t be more perfect if it tried. It brings to mind drunken, sweaty frat boys wearing tank-tops and baseball caps, drinking from red solo cups and belching indiscriminately. If that image doesn’t conjure up a sense of fear (or disgust) in your belly, congratulations, you don’t have a soul. Or […]

The OkCupid Diaries, Part One

Misguided Attempts at Internet Humor and Just Plain Creepiness A week ago I was wallowing in insomnia when I decided to take some online personality tests–the perfect way to kill time and braincells while “learning” about myself. I headed over to OkCupid, a free internet “dating” site. Dating is in quotations because I feel that […]

Arithmophobia, or, Why Math Sucks (And is Also Awesome)

Math is my nemesis. It is the Luther to my Superman, the Decipticon to my Bumblebee, the Mojo Jojo to my Buttercup. I feel like most writers can empathize with the struggle to control numbers, as we use the right side of our brain to do really complex things like write beautiful sentences, paint-by-numbers, and […]

Pet Peeve Wednesday: Hyphenated-Americans

My father is half black and half Irish. My mom is pretty much 100% English. That makes me half black Irish and half English. But my dad grew up in Cleveland, and my mom grew up in the boondocks of New York on a dairy farm. So, basically, I’m 100% American, but half rural and […]

Pediophobia: Fear of Dolls

Dolls are terrifying. We’ve already covered how I was scared of my American Girl Josefina doll here, but that was the tip of the iceberg… Metaphorically speaking. I had Samantha, Kit, and one unnamed American Girl doll. Sure, while they were fun to play with, they were also planning to mutiny. It wasn’t that […]

Aviatophobia: Fear of Flying

Flying is one of the scariest things ever. You’re sitting in a pretty big metal missile that’s carrying one hundred and fifty complete strangers through the upper atmosphere at crazy speeds. It’s no wonder it’s on my list of phobias, and it’s no wonder it scares so many people. When adults with a fear of […]