When I have a Panic Attack

The anxiety voice in my head wins. You know, that dick voice that tells me I have knee herpes? I start to believe it (not about knee herpes, though. Those have cleared up.) The first thing I do is start to hyperventilate. Then I try breathing exercises to calm myself down, and picture myself lounging […]

Over-dosed and Crippled by Alzheimer’s (Daily Conversations with Anxiety)

Every morning I stand and look at the drawer that holds my pills. Did I take these yet? Yes. Are you sure? No. So, I should take them again? Well… If you accidentally double your dose, you’ll probably die. I take SERTRALINE. Not, like, Vicodin or something. Yeah, but you’re super sensitive to medication. You’ll […]

When I Open My Eyes (Daily Conversations With Anxiety)

The ghost that haunts your house will be standing at the foot of your bed again, watching you sleep. No, she won’t. Also… I’m going to pretend there’s no ghost here, thanks. No, seriously. Open your eyes. She is STARING RIGHT AT YOU. Oh my god, is she licking her lips? Whitney, you’ve got to […]

Daily Conversations with Anxiety: Insecurity

What if he doesn’t like you? Anxiety, he flew 1900 miles to spend the weekend with me. He’s one of my best friends. Yeah, but what if he’s just using you? He’s just using you. You know that, right? Nobody ever really likes you. You are really annoying sometimes, brain. HE FLEW TO SEE ME! […]

Daily Conversations With Anxiety: I (Probably Don’t) Have Herpes

Is it possible to get Herpes on your leg? Like, on your knee? It could be bug bites. Or razor burn, I guess. But I’m about 90% sure that it’s Herpes.I would get Herpes on my knee. I’m just that lucky. Google tells me, probably not. But Google also tells me that it could be […]

Daily Conversations With Anxiety: I Killed My Dog

Atreyu ran back and forth from my roommate to myself, whining. He jumped up on the teal leather couch beside me, only to jump off and skitter onto the couch where my roommate was typing. He tried to climb into her lap. “He’s needy tonight,” I said. “I wonder what’s got him all riled up.” […]

Night Terrors

The electricity bill at my house growing up must have been quite a lot, because I rarely slept with the lights off. Lights out meant my dolls would come alive and plot my demise with my beanie babies. Lights out meant that the ghost in my bathtub would wander free. Lights out meant that the […]

Surprise!

Generalized Anxiety Disorder and surprises don’t go well together. As a child, my brothers capitalized on this: they would wait, patiently, silently, behind doors or corners and pop out to yell in my face. It worked like a charm and produced the desired effect of tears, and made me paranoid to the point where I […]

Two-Year Clottiversary

A lot of my anxiety as a child resulted in me believing I would die in horribly tragic ways. For instance, I was terrified of sleeping under my ceiling fan because I believed that it would crash through my bed, chop me into little pieces, and send my remains and my bed through the floor […]

Storytime: The Art of Anxiety and Creation

It’s been a while, I know. And I don’t even have an excuse to offer you. I’ve been working only four days a week. I’ve been exercising six days a week (yay, fending off depression!) and generally doing summer-type activities. There are no reasons for why I shouldn’t have posted more frequently, or gone on […]