It’s been two months since the Big Breakup Heartbreak and less than twenty-four hours since the Little Heartbreak. This isn’t some sort of “my one true love has been stolen from me forever” heartbreak, because I think you have several true loves in your lifetime: people who teach you things like how to steal diamonds, […]Read More Little Heartbreak
Apparently, sarcasm and gentle redirection are not things this person understands. Also, we are a 10% match. That means I would literally probably hate him and want to do nothing but give him wedgies until he went away or was in too much pain to walk and instead had to roll away. Are manners too […]Read More OkCupid Diaries, Part 3: Gullible is Written on the Ceiling
Open letter to the men of OkCupid: Dear Sirs, Please note that the reason I keep my OkCupid account around is because I find it incredibly entertaining. You have shown to me that your inability to read is only exceeded by your desire to stick your thing into my thing. On my profile, I specifically state […]Read More OkCupid Diaries: Really, Men Of the World?
What if he doesn’t like you? Anxiety, he flew 1900 miles to spend the weekend with me. He’s one of my best friends. Yeah, but what if he’s just using you? He’s just using you. You know that, right? Nobody ever really likes you. You are really annoying sometimes, brain. HE FLEW TO SEE ME! […]Read More Daily Conversations with Anxiety: Insecurity
The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket, like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it. Gross. I do not want to talk about that kind of love. Though, that song is my Karaoke song. Love is the loftiest emotion humans can attain to, other than the comatose […]Read More Let’s Talk About Love
Misguided Attempts at Internet Humor and Just Plain Creepiness A week ago I was wallowing in insomnia when I decided to take some online personality tests–the perfect way to kill time and braincells while “learning” about myself. I headed over to OkCupid, a free internet “dating” site. Dating is in quotations because I feel that […]Read More The OkCupid Diaries, Part One