OkCupid Diaries, Part 3: Gullible is Written on the Ceiling

Apparently, sarcasm and gentle redirection are not things this person understands. Also, we are a 10% match. That means I would literally probably hate him and want to do nothing but give him wedgies until he went away or was in too much pain to walk and instead had to roll away.

Are manners too difficult? Is using a question mark too foreign a concept? Is any type of friendly address too strenuous to type (because I can see you’re really muscly and maybe your fingers are disproportionately weak)? Are you blind and unable to read my tattoo in the picture? Oh my God,  ARE YOU ILLITERATE? If you’re illiterate, how did you manage to message me? Did a friend do it for you?? Do you have a friend send all your messages on OkCupid?! Can I meet this person and lecture them on punctuation? Interrobang?!

I have so many questions for you.

And none of them are “want to hang out some time?”

26 thoughts on “OkCupid Diaries, Part 3: Gullible is Written on the Ceiling

  1. Hehe this brings back so many memories!!

    When I did the whole internet dating thing, my profile was lots of lists, one of them entitled “Dislikes”.

    My two top points were-
    1) Do not message me and say “Hey babe/sugar/sexy fancy a chat?”-I’ll ignore you. Firstly if I’ve put so much obvious effort into my profile, the least you could do is message back with something thoughtful, maybe relating to one of the many things I’ve listed. Secondly, when you’re just a picture on my screen, please try and refrain from being overly familiar by using any of the derogatory words listed above, it’s not endearing in the slightest.

    2) I’m a grammar fanatic and I hate text speak with a passion. The only time you’ll be forgiven is if you’re dyslexic.

    Did anyone take any notice??

    I’ll give you three guesses!! 😉 xx

      1. I just asked him how tall he was, because I don’t want any short babies. He never replied, so apparently he took offense or something. Weird.

  2. hahah love it. like the time when i told one guy i had a carpenter at my place to give me quotes and he said: oh, so you’re putting in carpets?

    I didn’t respond

      1. yeah, sometimes i wonder am i THAT picky that male species look stupid or are they really stupid?

  3. Love this! I went on a date with a guy and after asking me if I had tattoos and responding with “I have about 7” he came back with a “don’t you just think they are lame?”.
    He wasn’t trying to be funny…

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