Let’s Talk About Love

The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket, like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it. Gross. I do not want to talk about that kind of love. Though, that song is my Karaoke song. Love is the loftiest emotion humans can attain to, other than the comatose […]

Sometimes I write for other blogs.

I know, I know, you hate me. But the school year is winding down, and with it, my freedom (and burning desire, much akin to the syphilis I heard that people suffer from sometimes) to write is winding up. Soon, so soon, I will be posting my regular 3 times a week. I’m so excited […]

New Year’s Resolutions: Haikus

I threw my back out day two of twenty-thirteen: ahead of schedule I promised myself I’d stop eating my feelings– but I’m just so sad Dear Ms. Emma Stone, email me A-S-A-P so we can be friends Dear JaVale McGee I would like to talk to you re: our best friendship

New Year’s Resolutions: Tips To Follow To Fail Spectacularly.

Ah, yes. It’s that time of year again. What time? You ask, your head tilted slightly to the side like the adorable puppy you are. Well, stinker, it’s that time of year when we all make resolutions to become a better person, and then proceed to take a massive dump on them about three weeks […]

This is pretty exciting stuff: 2012 in review (THANK YOU, READERS!!!)

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt: 4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 28,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 6 Film Festivals Click here to see the complete report.

Doomsday Phobia: Haikus

It’s December two-two And here I am, still breathing Can you say buzzkill? LA got it wrong The world ended years ago with new Die Hard films Those silly Mayans All that crazy sacrifice And nothing happened The politicians hoped to die and thus avoid the fiscal cliff talks

Doomsday Phobia: The Fear of the End of the World

All I can say is, fuck the Mayans. Well, the ancient Mayans. I’m sure present-day Mayans are pretty pleasant. But their calendar has been a source of anguish for many years, going beyond my introduction to the wonderful world of Anxiety Treatment AKA Medication. The Mayan calendar ends December 21st, 2012. I first learned […]

Teaching is a Full-Time Job

I don’t know how people do it all day, every day, for years. No, I’m not talking about sex (I know how people do that, and I’m still routinely disgusted by the whole affair… see what I did there?). I’m talking about education. To be more precise, I’m talking about teaching. I […]

Damsel in Distress, pt. 1

I am not usually helpless. I am very good at taking care of myself–you have to be when you have an anxiety disorder; otherwise, your head will probably explode. And that really doesn’t help when you’re trying to look cute. Usually, I am very, very careful about everything. I am one of those people who […]

Movement Poem–For Kelly

Finally! Time to type it up! Poetry project submissions are now open again! “Movement” It all happens in a moment: The twirl of leaves, of fingers, of teeth on the eve of breathing. Footsteps sound solid–vent- ing the tick-tock tales of time. We are all even with the ground–suspended slightly, arrows that move an inch […]