If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Richard Pryor

Ah, If Historical Figures Were Alive Today. How I’ve missed you. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a psychic medium able to communicate with the dead. that’s approximately 90% bullshit and 10% truth. The 10% comes from all the times I played the Ace Game or with the Ouiji board in middle school. […]

If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Harriet Tubman

You guys still don’t have high speed rails? Not all of Europe had abolished slavery until way after you (Not abolished in the Ottoman Empire until 1890, since probably none of you know your history) and their train system is the shit. Pick up your game. Seriously. You have a black president now. I would […]

If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Plato

Plato: Hey, United States… … Wait… you have a Democratic Republic? Never mind. You’re doing it right. Though, to be fair, you all are still far too concerned with your lust of goods and not of knowledge; you still fight wars you don’t know how to win that are pointless anyway; you keep electing exceedingly […]

Pet Peeve Wednesday: Hyphenated-Americans

My father is half black and half Irish. My mom is pretty much 100% English. That makes me half black Irish and half English. But my dad grew up in Cleveland, and my mom grew up in the boondocks of New York on a dairy farm. So, basically, I’m 100% American, but half rural and […]