If Historical Figures Were Alive Today: Plato

Plato: Hey, United States…

Plato. Luni marble, copy of the portrait made ...

Democracy: Ur Doing It Wrong

Wait… you have a Democratic Republic? Never mind. You’re doing it right. Though, to be fair, you all are still far too concerned with your lust of goods and not of knowledge; you still fight wars you don’t know how to win that are pointless anyway; you keep electing exceedingly stupid, greedy people who succumb to gridlock and don’t know how to compromise… so basically you’re a Democracy.

Did you even READ my writings? Socrates!**

Also, you guys totally don’t know what a Fraternity is. It’s means “Brotherhood” not “LET’S GET DRUNK, BONE SOME DRUNK CHICKS, VOMIT, AND HAZE KIDS.” Plus, everyone in Greece was gay. So if you’re in the Greek system at your school. You’re gay. You haven’t come out of the cave yet.

**Plato says “Socrates” because he does not know of this “Jesus Christ” character, and thus cannot use his name as a swearword. Plus, Socrates kind of sounds like shit+titties.

7 Comments

“Though, to be fair, you all are still far too concerned with your lust of goods and not of knowledge; you still fight wars you don’t know how to win that are pointless anyway; you keep electing exceedingly stupid, greedy people who succumb to gridlock and don’t know how to compromise… so basically you’re a Democracy.”
But toga’s off to you, you have managed to invent something useful, the Internet. What’s that, a comments section…. Hmm, ok… now it makes perfect sense why you elect the stupid and greedy people…

He’d probably want to clarify that a “Platonic” relationship doesn’t mean no sex… just no sex with girls… if you’re a boy… if you know what I’m saying…

Because he was gay. That’s what I’m saying.

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