Conversations With Anxiety: Spring Cleaning

Well, this is embarrassing. I am a hoarder. In my room, you will see lots of pieces of paper that have absolutely no meaning that are on every surface. But, Whitney! You might need that tag from your new Nike shorts. Or that receipt from the grocery store. Especially if you’re audited. Because you’ll probably […]

Conversations With Anxiety: Late Night Worries

I find myself staring at my ceiling a lot at night these days. It’s less insomnia and more me wondering about what it means to be a grown-up and wishing terribly for the days when I was so scared of being on my own that I literally slept on the floor of my parents’ bedroom […]

Live A Little

Welcome back, friends! Back where? you ask, confused. You didn’t go anywhere. I went somewhere. You know, for a person who generally doesn’t like going out, meeting new people, trying adventure sports without an ambulance and a stretcher waiting nearby, spending money, or getting out of my comfort bubble, sometimes I really surprise myself. And then […]

OkCupid Diaries, Part 3: Gullible is Written on the Ceiling

Apparently, sarcasm and gentle redirection are not things this person understands. Also, we are a 10% match. That means I would literally probably hate him and want to do nothing but give him wedgies until he went away or was in too much pain to walk and instead had to roll away. Are manners too […]

OkCupid Diaries: Really, Men Of the World?

Open letter to the men of OkCupid: Dear Sirs, Please note that the reason I keep my OkCupid account around is because I find it incredibly entertaining. You have shown to me that your inability to read is only exceeded by your desire to stick your thing into my thing. On my profile, I specifically state […]

Hold On a Second, My Allergies are Acting Up

Guys, I’m about to lay a sloppy truth kiss all over your faces. There will be tongue involved, and it will be wet: Are you ready? Are you sure you’re ready? Okay, but this is your last chance to get out before things get real. Life can be hard. […]

Hot Tamales

The other night I made chili. Delicious decision, you say, with a bubble pipe hanging out of the corner of your mouth. And indeed it was. The recipe called for roasted peppers, and I roasted those suckers over the open flame of my gas stove like I was born to do it; and maybe I […]

Let’s Kick Off the Year with Some Insecurity

1. I have approximately 18 million zits on my face. That entirely depends on how many pores my face has, as I’m pretty sure each pore right now constitutes a zit. My face is, without a doubt, I giant talking, walking, whining, crying, puking, zit. You’re welcome for that image. 2. Also, I’m not […]

2014 Is An Asshole

2013 wasn’t a particularly bad year for me. It was filled with the same ups and downs as most people experience plus the heightened awareness of the roller coaster thanks to my anxiety. In 2013, I made one of the best friends I’ve ever had, I celebrated my second year of survival, I was heartbroken […]

On The Third Day of Whitsmas… I Gave Up.

I’m twenty-three years old. The first time I threw my back out, I was fourteen. I was never the athletic specimen in high school that I am now. Then I was a bit heavier and a lot more whiny. I didn’t like exercising because it was hard. But my alma mater requires two trimesters of […]