Let’s Talk About Love

The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket, like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it. Gross. I do not want to talk about that kind of love. Though, that song is my Karaoke song. Love is the loftiest emotion humans can attain to, other than the comatose […]

Sometimes I write for other blogs.

I know, I know, you hate me. But the school year is winding down, and with it, my freedom (and burning desire, much akin to the syphilis I heard that people suffer from sometimes) to write is winding up. Soon, so soon, I will be posting my regular 3 times a week. I’m so excited […]

Mental Illness is No Laughing Matter

Except when it totally is. For the majority of my life, anxiety ruled every decision I made. What to wear, how to put my clothes on in the morning, whether or not I would brush my teeth, who I talked to, where I sat in vehicles and at restaurants–I was never free from fear of […]

New Year’s Resolutions: Haikus

I threw my back out day two of twenty-thirteen: ahead of schedule I promised myself I’d stop eating my feelings– but I’m just so sad Dear Ms. Emma Stone, email me A-S-A-P so we can be friends Dear JaVale McGee I would like to talk to you re: our best friendship

New Year’s Resolutions: Tips To Follow To Fail Spectacularly.

Ah, yes. It’s that time of year again. What time? You ask, your head tilted slightly to the side like the adorable puppy you are. Well, stinker, it’s that time of year when we all make resolutions to become a better person, and then proceed to take a massive dump on them about three weeks […]

Doomsday Phobia: Haikus

It’s December two-two And here I am, still breathing Can you say buzzkill? LA got it wrong The world ended years ago with new Die Hard films Those silly Mayans All that crazy sacrifice And nothing happened The politicians hoped to die and thus avoid the fiscal cliff talks

Doomsday Phobia: The Fear of the End of the World

All I can say is, fuck the Mayans. Well, the ancient Mayans. I’m sure present-day Mayans are pretty pleasant. But their calendar has been a source of anguish for many years, going beyond my introduction to the wonderful world of Anxiety Treatment AKA Medication. The Mayan calendar ends December 21st, 2012. I first learned […]

Damsel in Distress, pt. 1

I am not usually helpless. I am very good at taking care of myself–you have to be when you have an anxiety disorder; otherwise, your head will probably explode. And that really doesn’t help when you’re trying to look cute. Usually, I am very, very careful about everything. I am one of those people who […]

Travel Tip #1: Haikus

Batman fights crime and I fight bad attitudes and together we win Delta Airlines is limbo for world travelers and eats people’s souls Delta Airlines should be called Delta Disasters: Fuck Your Travel Plans gingerbread cookies can only soothe a troubled mind to an extent AND COMING SOON: Travel Diaries #2: Amsterdamnit, part one! […]

The Prodigal Daughter Returns! (An Exercise in Modesty… Just Kidding)

Well, HELLO, beautiful loves! You’re looking svelte! Is that a new haircut? New shirt? New laptop? Whatever you’ve done, it’s working. Let me start with a brief apology: I’m sorry I fell off the face of the internet. Traveling through Europe, I discovered that I did not have consistent internet access, nor the time to […]