Now, now, don’t get your turkey feathers in a bunch.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. It’s a day you get to spend with family (or those you’ve chosen as family) and just be together, all the while eating glutinous amounts of food. Which is why this year, I’m spending it with one person I love and a bunch of strangers, eating goodness knows what. IRONNNYYYY.
Thanksgiving is for sissies because it’s a day for people too lazy to acknowledge what they are thankful or grateful for in their every day lives. Thanksgiving forces these people to voice their gratitude. It’s like the Dentist Visit of Kindness. It pulls friendliness out of people’s mouths and makes them giggle. It’s gratitude Novocaine.
Voicing gratitude is a part of my every day experience. It’s a ritual that both alleviates my anxiety (to an extent, let’s be real here) and makes me and others happy. Sometimes I wake up and look at the ceiling and think: man, I’m so fucking grateful for ceilings. They are SO. NICE.
No, I’m not joking. Where would we be without ceilings? Outside in the cold. GETTING RAINED ON DURING OUR MORNING NAKED BOOTY DANCE PARTIES. Or is that just a fear that I have?
Some other things I acknowledge my gratitude for: Pants, because no one wants to see everyone pantsless! Chocolate, because duh! Dogs, because double duh! Hand-holding, snuggles, cheese, books, sunlight, a good pen, some good paper, my health, boobs, grass, and high-fives! Friends! Family! Naps!
There’s so much to be thankful for, and acknowledging it all the time makes you a happier person. It’s scientifically proven.
Now, if only us Americans could separate gluttony of gratitude from gluttony of food and Black Friday Shopping.
I fucking hate Black Friday. I hate that it’s ruined an otherwise beautiful holiday. And I hate that it separates families by making employees work on Thanksgiving night. I also hate it because it is the exact opposite of a grateful activity. People get trampled to death. I mean, what the fuck is that about? Spend the entire weekend being grateful and loving with your family instead of frenzied and rude at the malls. Thanksgiving has become a holiday for sissies because it provides them with the fuel to wait in line at Best Buy until midnight to punch strangers in the face to buy that new X-box game for their child. GO HOME.
Thanksgiving should never end. But Black Friday should be punched in the gonads.
What are you grateful for every day and today especially?