I’m not about to get all Debbie Downer on you, but I have some problems with the 4th of July.
Mainly, it tends to inspire blind patriotism. Lots of shouts of “‘MERICA!” and copious amounts of burnt cow and pig and probably too much booze. Definitely too much booze. I even had a booze or two.
But I’m also always constantly aware that the 4th of July is less the celebration of what this country was founded on and more a celebration of propaganda and lots of american flag bikinis.
The thing is, there’s a whole lot of shit going down in this country. First of all, women apparently have less rights than giant buildings that don’t have feelings. That kind of sucks, because, like, Hobby Lobby used to be a cool place to buy tiny shit for a doll house, and now it’s a place to take a tiny shit in the corner and yell, “FUCK YOU AND YOUR RELIGIOUS FREEDOM, BUILDING!!” and run away cackling into darkness.
Having studied the Supreme Court, what I can say is this: Anyone who has ever thought that their motives in deciding cases is anything other than political is completely wrong. Judicial philosophy tends to align “suspiciously” with political philosophy. A strict originalist (Thomas, Scalia, and, sadly, Roberts and Alito) tends to be, gasp… Conservative. They see the constitution and think, “Yeah, they wrote this 200-and-some-odd years ago and it was never, ever supposed to evolve with the times because men who wore wigs and tights and owned black people as minions should be taken 100% at their word at all times, because, you know, change is hard and stuff.”
On the other hand, liberals tend to see the Constitution as a living document, one that must necessarily evolve to fit the times where I can do something like #thesupremecourtisfullofbuttmonkeysminusthegoodonesandsometimesjusticekennedy and act accordingly. They tend to be judicial activists (think, striking down anti-gay marriage laws as unconstitutional), effectively legislating from the bench. Sometimes. Not all the time. Sometimes, liberals think the Constitution is actually alive and that just brings up a whole new set of problems, like, who is going to write that movie? (It would be a hot chick, for sure, known as “Connie” and kidnapped by some bad guys. Then she’d kick ass and make out with a Kennedy or something.)
And, also, we have to remember that these so-called “impartial judges” of the “highest court of the land” are also human beings susceptible to things like money and chocolate. In the case of Scalia, probably too much chocolate.
Secondly, thanks to a certain President who shall remain nameless,
there is this country that we invaded for “weapons of mass destruction” that is now falling apart at the seams, and the world is looking to us to do something, and we don’t really want to do anything. But, see, it’s almost like we’re obligated to since a certain someone went in without a real set plan and no understanding of how to fight guerrilla warfare. A certain President kind of left things fucked up in the region, and a certain new President did his best to get us out of there and now the whole thing has blown up in the New President’s face because the Old President handled things like a teenager left alone with his parents’ credit cards and a giant, empty house. The New President came into that house and was all, “what the fuck am I supposed to do with all this shit?” and tried to clean things up but there is some sticky shit on the ceiling that keeps falling down and hitting him in the face.
That was a helluva metaphor.
On top of those things, there’s the struggle for gay rights still. (Why is that still a thing? Like, why does anyone still have to talk about it ever? I mean, seriously. Let’s find something new to be bigots about. How about let’s be bigots about bigots, or something.) Trans rights, which, also, doesn’t need to be a thing discussed–PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, Jesus. There’s the debt. There’s the fact that we’re the fattest country in the world and we’re more content to be ginormous than to take care of ourselves. All of the BEES ARE DYING, which is bad for us who don’t eat just fast food and potato chips. The immigration debacles and the tens of thousands of kids from Latin and South America finding their way into the States all by themselves. There’s that whole bit about how we’re all poisoning the Earth and we should really just man up and switch to Solar but our politicians have been handcuffed and taking it from Big Oil for so long they don’t remember where the keys are and Big Oil is a needy skankbucket.
Then there’s the basics that everyone seems to be content on letting go: poverty, the wage gap, the fact that minimum wage is a fucking joke, student loan debt, sexual violence, gun violence (SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK ON THIS ONE, THOUGH), how our “drug war” is really just a stupid waste of money, and all that other stuff.
I mean, I don’t mean to wax philosophic or anything, but this country has a lot of people gagged and bound in its basement that it’s content to ignore for as long as possible.
I also want to make a point that I’m not blaming any one political party for the woes of this country. It’s all of our faults, because we don’t take action and we’re content letting people who get paid too much money not take any action and basically give each other wedgies all day and repeating schoolyard taunts. The whole system is gridlocked because we’re a bunch of spoiled goobers who don’t understand that people think differently than other people.
However, this is a country where I can say shit like this and not have to worry about disappearing. Which, I have to say, is pretty neat.
I was thinking about all of these things while watching three firework displays with my friends, when something happened to put all of this in perspective.
Goddamn this is a beautiful country.