Third Annual Clottiversary
It’s easy to complain about life, because shit can get hard sometimes. It’s like, man, my love life is in shambles because dating mustachioed cyborgs isn’t that rewarding and I owe back taxes for 400 years and I have this wedgie that I cannot pick out for the life of me; literally, it’s like it’s glued in or something. I get that. Those are all terrible things.
But you know what? They’re only as terrible as you let them be. It’s easy to bemoan the difficulties of life, because complaining is fun (Seriously, ask any of my friends. I like complaining a lot), but when you actually mean the complaints you make as opposed to complaining about dumb things like having to put on sneakers to work out or then having to put your flip flops back on, you’re just making your own life a little more difficult.
Three years ago, I was about [THIS FAR] from death. Literally. And instead of being all sad and scared and shit, I had the best goddamned time in that hospital. Sure, a lot of it was denial, and a lot of it was the wonderful people that surrounded me, but a lot of it was that I chose to have fun instead of choosing to be like, “OH MY GAWD MY LIFE IS RUINED I CANNOT DO ANYTHING I AM ALMOST DEAD SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB HICCUP SOB SOB SOB BRING ME MY WATER, NURSE MINIONS!”
It could’ve been a bad day, a bad week, a bad six months. I could’ve died. I could’ve wallowed in the fact that I was basically the bubble boy for six months, having to get MRIs when I was rear-ended and once when I got hit in the stomach with a soccer ball, because, you know, when you’re on blood thinners anything can cause internal bleeding. I could’ve complained that I couldn’t celebrate my 21st birthday like every other drunk person ever, but since fuck drinking, that wasn’t a problem (plus, having a 12 year old Transformer-themed birthday party instead was AWESOME). I could’ve done a lot of things. But instead, I was just so fucking grateful to be alive and go back to school and finish my degrees early.
So, what I’m saying is, when life gives you blood clots for no reason at all, make it an excuse to HAVE ALL OF THE FUNS!